I find that many people who are depressed don’t know they are depressed and can’t imagine how good life can be. Many depressed people have been struggling with this issue all their lives. As a person that was depressed for the first 4.5 decades of my life, thanks to the Emotion Code and the Body Code, I now finally know what it feels like to be mentally healthy. I thought it might be useful to both people who suffer from depression, and those who’ve never experienced it, to know more about what it feels like to be on the other side.
When we are depressed, we tend to see things through a negative filter. But when we are happy, we have our positive filter on. The consequences to our behavior and experiences can be huge. Check out some of the scenarios below and feel free to add any in the comments below!
Depressed Mind vs. Healthy Mind – Relationships:
Scenario: A friend didn’t respond to an email.
Negative filter (depressed mind):
Thoughts: “What did I do to make them run away?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why do I have such a hard time making friends?”
Feelings: Depression, despair, abandonment, betrayal
Positive filter (healthy mind):
Thoughts: “That person must be busy – I can relate”. “Maybe they forgot, I’ll send them a reminder”.
Feelings: Slight disappointment, but it doesn’t linger and it’s not enough the interfere with saying something.
Scenario: Someone who doesn’t know me says, “You know what your problem is….”
Negative filter :
Thoughts: “ Why does she feel that way about me?” “What about me gives that impression?” “Does everyone feel that way?” “Is she right?” “Why does everyone hate me?” “I can never make anyone happy.”
Feelings: Despair, depression, anger, frustration, shame
Positive filter :
Thoughts: “Wow, this person is really quick to judge and didn’t take the time to listen to me. I’m guessing she isn’t a good listener, and can’t give constructive feedback, so I’ll limit my interactions with her in the future.”
Feelings: Momentary sadness that some people are not able to be kind, but quickly forgotten.
Scenario: When with a group of people you can’t relate to at a party:
Negative filter:
Thoughts: “I can’t relate.” “I don’t fit in. ” “I’m an outcast.” “Noone can love me”. “What do I say to fit in or make them like me?” “I just want to hide”.
Behavior: More likely to eat or drink too much, or not eat at all, sit alone, or leave early.
Feelings: Despair, loneliness, shame, insecurity
Positive filter :
Thoughts: “OK, this conversation isn’t for me. I’m ready to move on. How can I excuse myself politely?”
Behavior: If a group of people are talking about something I have no interest in, I excuse myself for food or drink, and find another group, or just 1 person to talk to until I find a person/group I can connect with. It usually doesn’t take long because instead of worrying about impressing others, I’m asking them to tell me about themselves.
Feelings: Great! Connected, confident, attractive and fun!
Depressed Mind vs. Healthy Mind – Feelings about self:
Self appearance:
Negative filter:
Thoughts: “I’m so fat” “I’m too old”. “How can anyone ever love me?” “I just want to hide” “There’s no point in exercising/eating well, etc”. “It doesn’t matter what I do.”
Behaviors: Dress in clothes that will not get me noticed. I often don’t care about how I look. I don’t spend a lot of time grooming.
Feelings: Despair, shame, grief, helplessness
Positive filter :
Thoughts: “I’m sexy, beautiful and attractive, desirable and lovable”. “Why wouldn’t anyone like me?”
Behaviors: I enjoy taking care of myself by eating well, exercising, dressing in clothes & wearing makeup that make me look good. I care about my appearance.
Feelings: Confidence, content, attractive, desirable
General feelings about self:
Negative filter:
Thoughts, “I’m unworthy & unlovable.” “I could never live up to him/her.” “I’m not good enough.” “I just want to hide”. “I’m a failure.”
Feelings: Feel sorry for self, shame, unworthiness, despair, hopelessness, helplessness, low-self esteem, grief
Positive filter:
Thoughts: “I’m cute, funny, fun, smart and unique” “If people don’t see that or take the time to discover that, then too bad for them.”
Feelings: Confidence, happy, content, optimistic
Feelings towards self when can’t figure something out:
Negative filter :
Thoughts: “I’m so stupid.”, “I should be able to figure this out.”, “I have to do this all myself.”, “There’s noone to help me.”, “I’m all alone.”
Feelings: Tons of frustration, peeved, despair, shame, vulnerability, disappointment in self
Positive filter:
Thoughts: “OK, it’s a good time to take a break and give this some time.” How am I going to meet this challenge? “How am I going to get the support I need?”
Feelings: Fleeting frustration. I use that as a signal that it’s time to give my brain a break.
Depressed Mind vs. Healthy Mind – General attitude towards life:
General feelings about my past:
Negative filter :
Thoughts: “Life keeping sh__ing on me”. “Why do these things keep happening to me?” “Will I ever be able to get out of this rut?”
Feelings: Overwhelm, despair, discouragement, depression, anger, resentment, bitterness
Positive filter:
Thoughts: “I’ve been though a lot. This is my journey. My post traumatic growth allows me to more effectively support others through theirs”.
Feelings: Acceptance, compassion towards self
General feelings about future:
Negative filter:
Thoughts: Will anyone ever be able to love me? Am I capable of a healthy and loving relationship? What’s the point? Nothing is going to go my way. Its not worth trying. Trying will only lead to more disappointment. I can’t take anymore disappointment. Why would anyone want to hire me? Nothing I do matters.
Feelings: despair, hopelessness, helplessness, failure, pessimism, bitterness, frustration
Positive filter:
Thoughts: What I do matters. People need me, and I have something valuable to contribute. I’m worthy of love, and love will find me. I have what it takes to get what I want, and my life will improve bit by bit as long as I keep pushing forward!
Feelings: Hope, enthusiasm, excitement!
Is there a way to change my Depressed Mind?
The good news is that the negative filter can be change to a positive one using the Emotion Code and the Body Code. Releasing the negativity that gets stored in our bodies allows positive thinking to occur more authentically, and naturally. Are you ready to experience hope, optimism, joy and confidence about yourself and your future? Listen to my interview, Releasing Subconscious Barriers: The Key to Health and Happiness and contact me to schedule a complimentary consultation!
Do you have a friend or family member that doesn’t understand depression? Share this with them!
Can you relate? Would you like to add to this post? Please enter your comments below!
